Tag Archives: grief and loss

Pat Your Backs by Coco Ihle

This is my time to say thank you to all the people who have been following the guidelines by implementing social distancing and the health suggestions to get us all through this terrible coronavirus pandemic. I’ve witnessed bravery beyond belief from those in the front lines; not only first responders and health workers in every area of care, but also in the leaders of businesses who have valued their employees enough to hold on to them even in sacrifice, and also to friends who have helped those who have not handled this crisis as well as they.

Kudos to the people who have altered their manufacturing plants to make much needed products. Many doing so without requests made for them to do so. And thank you to those who have generously donated food, medical supplies and other necessary items to those in need.

Thank you to the teachers who are tirelessly not only helping their students continue learning, but are helping the student’s parents, as well. These teachers are using their ingenuity and creativity in amazing ways.

Thank you to my local grocery store employees who have been tirelessly and cheerfully working to keep us fed, and the druggists who make sure we have our medications, and to the trash pick-up guys who even work in the dark, and the postal workers and other delivery people who make sure we have our mail and packages. I actually feel not only grateful, but spoiled.

Thank you to those of you who have thought about and made the effort to check on seniors who may be isolated and lonely, not only to see if they are all right, but also to offer to go to the grocery store, or pharmacy for them or to drive them to a doctor’s appointment, or run an errand or two. I’ve been blessed here, too.

I am thankful to our President for gathering experts in all fields necessary to help us successfully get through this war and for keeping us informed each day with a progress report.

Thank you to all the people of many religions who are sharing their faith and comfort with their congregations and friends online. One of my friends who is also an author and a minister’s wife shares a daily prayer and treats us on the piano with her wonderful renditions of famous old hymns. Thanks, Sherrie. I’m enjoying watching you, so much. And I thank Kevin Latty, a friend’s son for sharing his wonderful inspiration today.

Today (as I write this) is Good Friday and as Easter approaches, I’m reminded why I celebrate this time each year, for Jesus is Risen. He is with us today. I mentioned above how spoiled I feel, but I’m reminded that there are many who are grieving right now for loved ones lost or gravely ill. I pray for those people and I also pray in gratitude for those of us who have been spared and only inconvenienced. I pray for those who have lost jobs and I ask for guidance and help for them at this time. I pray that this spirit of togetherness and compassion will continue far into the future as we move ahead and slowly recover from this terrible pandemic. I pray that we have been inspired to be more considerate of others and united as individuals and communities.

And, on a lighter note, I thank so many friends who have held on to their sense of humor and sent funny cartoons or sayings, phone calls, even greeting cards to keep me in a cheery mood. I can say it has worked! THANK YOU! I’m so grateful!  PAT YOUR BACKS!

 

Coco Ihle is the author of SHE HAD TO KNOW, an atmospheric traditional mystery set mainly in Scotland. Please join her here each 11th of the month.

 

9 Comments

Filed under musings, writing

Why GRIEF: THE GREAT YEARNING Is Important — by Pat Bertram

I’ve written four novels, all published by Second Wind Publishing, and although I thought the subject matter of each book important enough to spend a year of my life writing and another year editing (to say nothing of the years on the arduous road to publication), I have a hard time telling people the novels are important.

The basic theme of all my novels is conspiracy, focusing on the horrors ordinary citizens have been subjected to by those in power. Most people who have read the books seem to like them (though a few who didn’t like them seemed befuddled by what I was trying to accomplish). Light Bringer in particular seems to arouse a difference of opinion. Written to be the granddaddy of all conspiracy theories, Light Bringer traces the push toward a one-world government back 12,000 years. Based on myths, both modern conspiracy myths and ancient cosmology myths, Light Bringer is a thriller, or mythic fiction perhaps (if there is such a thing). I never intended it to be science fiction since the science is gleaned from ancient records rather than futuristic imaginings, but that is how it is perceived. Still, despite the scope of the book, despite it being my magnum opus and the result of twenty years of research, I can’t in all honesty say it is important to anyone except me. It probably won’t change anyone’s life or anyone’s thinking. For the most part, we bring to books what we believe, and so those who believe in conspiracies see the importance of my novels, while those who don’t have even a smattering of belief that there are machinations we are not privy to might even think them far-fetched.

On the other hand, Grief: The Great Yearning is an important book. It is composed of journal entries, blog posts, and letters to my dead life mate/soul mate, all pieces written while I was trying to deal with the unbearable tsunami of emotions, hormones, physical symptoms, psychological and spiritual torments, identity crisis and the thousand other occurrences we lump under the heading “grief.” Because of this, the emotion in Grief: The Great Yearing is immediate, the experience palpable. This is a comfort to those having to deal with a grievous loss because they can see they are not alone. (One of the side effects of grief is a horrendous feeling of isolation.) They can see that whatever they feel, others have felt, and that whatever seemingly crazy thing they do to bring themselves comfort, others have done.

This book is also important for the families of someone who has suffered a grievous loss. Too often the bereft are told to move on, get over it, perhaps because their families don’t understand what it is the survivor has to deal with. Well, now they can get a glimpse into grief and ideally, be more patient and considerate of their bereft loved ones.

This book is especially important for writers. I’ve mostly given up reading for now because of the unrealness I keep coming across in fiction. So many novels are steeped in death, with bodies piling up like cordwood, yet no one grieves. The surviving spouses think as clearly as they did before the death. They have no magical thinking, holding two disparate thoughts in their minds at once. (For example: I know he will never need his eyeglasses, but I can’t throw them away because how will he see without them?) The characters have no physical symptoms or bouts of tears that are beyond their control. There is no great yearning to see the dead once more (and this yearning is what drives our grief, not the so-called stages). In other words, we are continually conditioned to downplay the very real presence of grief in our lives. If we don’t see people grieve in real life, in movies, in books, where are we to get a blueprint for grief?

As Leesa Healy, Consultant in Emotional-Mental Health wrote, “If people were to ask me for an example of how grief can be faced in order for the healthiest outcome, I would refer them to Grief: The Great Yearning, which should be the grief process bible. Pat Bertram’s willingness to confront grief head on combined with her openness to change is the epitome of good mental health.”

So, yes, Grief the Great Yearning is important, with an important message: It is okay to grieve. And as impossible as it is to imagine now, you will survive.

Click here to find out more about Grief: The Great Yearning

***

Pat Bertram is the author of Light Bringer, More Deaths Than One, A Spark of Heavenly Fire, and Daughter Am I.All Bertram’s books are available both in print and in ebook format. You can get them online at Second Wind Publishing, Amazon, B&N and Smashwords. At Smashwords, the books are available in all ebook formats including palm reading devices, and you can download the first 20-30% free!

6 Comments

Filed under books, Pat Bertram, writing