So Many Men…

I have a good friend visiting, 61 years old, who was widowed a couple of years ago after twenty-four years of marriage. We’ll call her Victoria, since it means victory. No relationship is perfect, but hers was what I’d call a solid, loving one, and once she and God dealt with her initial grief, she decided that with His guidance, she was still young enough to try finding another gentleman with which to spend her future years.

She is attractive with stylishly short, blond, highlighted hair and was a former model, which makes her height about six feet or so in heels. She’s fun to be around with a great sense of humor. She’s never had children and her parents are deceased, so there’s nothing that might present a problem in a relationship. Her only difficulty is she is hearing impaired. Two discreet hearing aids help her most of the time, but sometimes lower sounds are difficult to discern, so talking on the phone is not a good option for her. She has mastered the art of texting and has managed pretty well. Most of the time “in person” meetings with gentlemen are no problem; only occasionally does she have trouble understanding them.

After joining three different dating websites, she is on her 108th date as I write this. Wow! Can you imagine? Meeting one hundred and eight men? I asked her what her general consensus was about meeting so many men; did she notice anything in particular about them. I found her answer very interesting.

She said that widowers seemed to be more positive about meeting someone new than divorcees. Many divorcees had “bitter baggage.” She is looking for someone who has a positive outlook on women in general and for someone who is ready to commit to a relationship that could lead to marriage, and being a Christian is very important to her.

She also said that many men she has met complain about women submitting outdated photos of themselves in their profiles, but she’s found the same problem with many of the men. As a matter of fact, a majority wear sunglasses in their profiles, which make it impossible to see their eyes and they often wear a baseball cap, which often hides their faces and sometimes also hides a lack of hair. Men also complain that they think women just want a man to spend money on them. She has told several gentlemen that she’s sure some men’s complaints are truly justified, but not all women are the same. An open mind and persistence is her way of going through this process. Perhaps that philosophy would help them too.

What really puzzles Victoria are the men who seem absolutely captivated by her and can’t say enough about how eager they are to see her again.  Then she never hears from them again. How confusing!

Well, she just walked in the door and when I asked her how this meeting went, she said, “I’m really not sure. I usually have a more definite idea after meeting them. He seems nice. And if he decides he’s not interested, at least I’ve made another friend. Meanwhile, on to man #109.

Dear reader, if any of you know of any single, tall, Christian men around 60, let me know and I’ll let Victoria know. Send photos, with eyes and bare head showing. 🙂


Coco Ihle is the author of SHE HAD TO KNOW. An atmospheric traditional mystery set mainly in Scotland. Join her here each 11th of the month.


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9 responses to “So Many Men…

  1. I have to wonder – 109 dates and no satisfactory match? I’d start to wonder if the fun isn’t in the chase for this woman — and not so much the capture. Women often complain of men’s unwillingness to commit. Might this be also true of many women?

    • What you say may be true for some, Charles, but certainly not for her. I know 109 sounds like a big number, but there are so many variables to consider. People are complex. I’ll let you know later how it all works out in another blog. Thanks so much for your comment.

  2. I remember this journey all too well. I gave up long before I reached numbers this high. That was about the time my now husband saw my profile and contacted me. Happily ever after endings can and do happen!

    • Sherrie, I had Victoria read your comment and she wanted me to tell you how encouraged your comment made her feel. Thank you!

      • Thanks. I’m glad I could help. Please tell her to be careful though. Before I met Mark, I met a couple of wolves in sheep’s clothing who claimed to be Christians but turned out to be very adept liars and very scary!

  3. Ernesto Patino

    I became a widower at age 58. At the time, I knew that I would eventually remarry. My wife was a staunch Catholic and we were very active in the Church. I had no doubt that my future partner would be a Catholic.I dated only a few women, some from dating sites and soon realized that I would have to expand my search to other faiths and different ways of thinking.I soon became a ballroom dancer and married my dance partner ten years later. She was divorced with two sons. I had no children.

    I guess my point is that I had to become more flexible in my search for a life partner.and I have no regrets. By the way, my wife is not Catholic.

    • Ernesto, thank you so very much for your comment. I’m so glad you found the lady of your dreams, even though the journey turned out a bit differently than you thought it would. Your heart was in the right place. Victoria will find her fella, I have no doubt. It’s just a matter of time.

  4. Susan Coggins

    Always love your blogs. Tell Victoria to hang in there. The right man may enter her life when she is not even looking. She might just turn around and there he will be. She sounds like a lovely friend and I wish her well.

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