Men Needed! Lots of Them and Quickly!

HELP!

I’m at the RWA (Romance Writers of America) Convention in NYC with my wife. The sneaky woman mentioned there would be romance writers from all over the country here. She just failed to mention it would be upwards of 2500 women…and me. I feel like I’m in a beehive of buzzing, pushing, shoving, giggling, phone obsessed ladies. There are ten elevators and each one is packed–ALL the time.

Signing

I need some male companionship.

We’ve been to the Penguin Random House Offices several times since my wife writes for them. I got to listen to new trends in romances that shattered my opinions of women being angelic creatures forever. I heard words I didn’t know women knew, much less spoke. Yet they seemed so lovely and cordial.

I have noticed a trend in women authors meeting after long spans of time from not seeing each other. Both participants eyeball each other. Each pops from her seat like a cork from a bottle of champagne. This is followed by a duo of ear piercing screeches. Both scream, “Ohhhhhh my God!” They rush toward each other, locking arms around each other in what in the wrestling profession is called a “bear hug.” In this position, they grapple trying for the takedown. But after a few seconds they declare it a draw and kiss, followed by more squeals and “OMG’s.”

Men would simply shake hands.

***Calvin Davis is the author of The Phantom Lady of Paris

5 Comments

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5 responses to “Men Needed! Lots of Them and Quickly!

  1. You have my sympathy. Not an easy experience to come through unscathed. In the Uk a small cask containing a restoring supply of your favourite beer might remind that, away from this disturbing event, at a place where unnecessary levels of emotional enthusiasm are not called for, men still sit at tables playing draughts, sipping beer and talking about sports. Hang in there. You will get back to sanity in due course.

  2. Bless your heart, Calvin! I feel for you. I certainly know how we women can be. Hope you made it through unscathed.

  3. You are a brave soul! Hang in there!

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