Lois Lane Syndrome: Inside Scoop Edition- Chelsea Bolt

Perhaps you know about Lois Lane Syndrome, perhaps you don’t. If the term is unfamiliar to you, check out my previous blog post here. In a quick summary, it is a syndrome that affects every woman as she battles the constructs of the modern world while still maintaining the ability to feel a full range of human emotions. Now that we’re all on the same page, there are a few things that need to be addressed, including: being true to you, striking a balance between success and fulfillment, and most importantly, relationship woes with MY VERY OWN REAL LIFE EXAMPLES.

It’s the 21st century and being a single woman is a treacherous place. This is abundantly true for those women that have a severe case of Lois Lane Syndrome. The dating scene has become a terrifying landscape, consisting of online connections rather than the more personal face to face interaction. Potential suitors tend to be on the lookout for a good time hiding behind a screen and may pursue intriguing conversations. The bar is set extremely high for every male suitor that comes my way and a classic Britney Spears lyric further defines this fact, “There are two types of guys out there; ones that can hang with me and the ones that are scared.” It is sad that the previous statement is true about 80% of the time, but you don’t need to surround yourself with people who can’t keep up with you.

Below I have selections of dialogue that are from *actual conversations:

Pining Fellow from Grade School (via text):  

PF: “Hey. It’s me. ~outdated signature line~”

Me: “I didn’t know you still had my number.”

PF: “We haven’t talked in a while. We should change that. ~outdated signature line~”

Me: “Your sister has been talking to me. Congrats on being a father!”

PF: “O yeah. ~outdated signature line~”

8th Grade Art Class Guy (via Facebook Messenger):

8G: “Hey you’re cute.”

Me: “Thanks. I’m part bunny.”

8G: “Haha. So (inappropriate question about the female body)?”

Me: “This is a demeaning question. If you really want to pursue a relationship, friendship or otherwise, find a dictionary and look up the word respect.”

8G: “Haha. Sorry.”

Creepy Middle Aged Superfan (in person):

SF: (whispering) “I like your [Daily Planet] shirt.”

Me: “Uh… yeah. I like Superman.”

SF: (avoids eye contact) “So how old are you?”

Me: “The number ends in teen.”

SF: (whispering again) “Oh. Well, if you were older… What do you think of Tom Welling as Clark Kent?”

Me: “If I were older, I would date him.”

Charming Man I Couldn’t Charm (via Facebook Messenger):

Me: “I know this is weird, but I think you’re truly a great person. We live in a world of Tinder swipes and I would like to let you know that’s not what this is. Honestly, I just don’t want there to be an air of weirdness between us. I like you and I’d like to see where this could lead.”

CC: “I knew it took quite a bit of courage to say all that, but I’m just not looking for a relationship right now.”

*dialogue has been edited for clarity and to keep these folks anonymous

Sure. We’ve all had a little laugh over the grand catastrophes I have in my romantic life, but I published those to make this point: I’m still alive and living. Those little interactions didn’t kill me, they made me stronger. Now I am one step closer to finding and knowing who I should have in my life. My only goal in life is not to find my “Superman”, that will only be a bonus. Besides, I need to pursue my passions, make a name for myself, and enjoy this season of my life. You do you.

Chelsea Bolt is a Second Wind author of the young adult novel Moonshine. For more information check out these sites: 

https://theonlybolt.wordpress.com/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chelsea-Bolt/689158317846614

https://twitter.com/theonlybolt

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