Have you ever had one of those nights when you could not sleep, no matter what, your eyes popped open and your brain ran a million miles per hour? I have, I believe we all have them once and a while. Sometimes I lay in bed, hoping that sleep will come, other times I get up and go watch the idiot box, otherwise known as the television.
There may be a good film on Turner Classic Movies, but usually they have something really odd airing in the wee hours of the morning. The other stations are loaded with what they call “infomercials” those half hour or hour long spots that take advantage of their time to hammer the viewer with all the reasons their product is the one to buy.
My question is: If this product is so good, why do we not see a regular ad on during normal hours when we are bombarded with a plethora of thirty second to one minute spots selling us more rubbish that we don’t need.
So many of the ads, no matter when they air, tell us how our lives are incomplete without their product. They tell us that we are not enough on our own, or we are not good enough just as we are. But we need not worry because their product, and their product alone will improve our sex life, make us look more successful or get us into the right circle of friends and business associates. With their product our lives will be complete. Many of these ads try to sell us the miracle pill or cookery product that will help us to lose those unwanted extra pounds that are making us miserable and our lives a failure.
These ads reiterate over and over again the Be-Do-Have scenario.
That translated into ~~ what we should aspire to BE, before we can DO certain things in order to HAVE the life we want, and suddenly, miraculously, with their product clasped tightly in out hot little hands, our lives will be perfect.
To that I say: Rubbish.
This belief system is like standing at the train station waiting for the train that will take us to the next stop along the way, and when we get there everything will be wonderful, stress free and perfect.
Life, no matter what, is thick, deep and messy.
Life is not an easy stroll through the garden. Life is a struggle, and we are always trying to do better in our lives for ourselves and for those we love. We are each unique and wonderful people. We should celebrate and embrace our unique qualities and do the same for others, accept them for the unique treasure that they are.
So what happens to the BE – DO – HAVE scenario?
We should aspire to BE is ourselves, just our genuine self with the gifts, loves, joys and shortcomings that make us uniquely who we are. There is nothing that we need to DO or buy or become before we can HAVE the life we want. When we embrace ourselves, as we are, there we begin to have the life that is not always seeking something else, something we are fooled into believing will be better. We need not wait for the train that will never come, because there is no place that will magically Poof us into perfection. There is no product that can transform us as they would lead us to believe.
Is the grass greener on the other side? It may look that way from where your are standing, however, whoever may be on that other side may see that your grass is greener than theirs. Perspective.
Don’t waste your life waiting for the train, hoping the thing you buy will make the difference, for those are not the things that will bring long lasting joy or peace. Being at peace with who you are, oh yes, do work to improve, but first love who you are in the moment, flaws and all. Make the most of the moment.
All you need to BE is yourself, all you need to DO is love who you are and accept yourself as a wonderful, unique treasure, and HAVE the life you want, because it is right there within your grasp as long as you do not grasp for things that are dangled before you like a brass ring that corrodes once you have it in hand.
S. M. Senden author Clara’s Wish and Lethal Boundaries and A Death of Convenience and Other Short Stories. WWW.SMSENDEN.wordpress.com