What You Wanted by Ginger K King

Ever wake on Christmas and open your gifts only to not get that one thing you really wanted oh so badly?  Come on now.  I know, we are all adults and many of us just want to be with family and really don’t go in for all the comercialisms of the holiday season.  But, you’ve experienced this right?

My friend posted a photo of his daughter with a disappointed look on her face as she clearly did not really want the item in the box that she was opening yesterday morning.  It wasn’t what she had been hoping for.  Seeing this made me remember the first time I had those feelings of disspointment at what I received for a gift.  Guilt immediately followed.  See I was raised to be kind and show appreciation for any gift I was given.  Still doesn’t mean I got all I wanted or any of what I wanted when gifts were opened.  I was a child then after all, right?

Today I am reminded of that feeling again.  I have been wanting something and it just isn’t working out.  Time seems to be working against me, and while I know this would have been so much fun and a very memorble adventure with my friend, it doesn’t seem that it’s meant to be.  Today… (or tomorrow as it turns out).

Learning how to let go of what we wanted and didn’t get is truly a mark of maturity.  I’m not quite there yet apparently but I’m still working on it.  I still want that time with my friend.  I’ve learned that it’s best to not get too upset at what doesn’t work out, because often something much better finds its way to you a little later on.

I do hope your Christmas was wonderful, and despite all of the things that could have made ours miserable, it was full of love and that, after all is the best gift.  It is free and priceless all at the same time.  It is the thing that means the most, just like the time we give to one another because we love each other.  Love and time… they just go hand in hand.


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4 responses to “What You Wanted by Ginger K King

  1. I wonder — is it a sign of maturity to let go of something you wanted but didn’t get? Isn’t that what having a dream is all about? Striving for something that seems unattainable?

    If it’s a thing, yes, for sure. Learn to do without or buy it yourself. But time with a special person — isn’t that different, especially if they are sick or dead or a long way away? To a certain extent we have to accept the loss so we can get on with our lives, but maybe it’s more mature to hold on to the wanting without letting it get in the way of what is.

    I too didn’t get what I wanted this Christmas — time with my life mate/soul mate — and I never will get it. He’s dead, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. I’m continuing on, dealing with life as best as I can, but always, in the back of my mind, resides that feeling of not having what I really want. That doesn’t mean I won’t love someone else, won’t eventually have a fulfilling life, but I will always want more time with him. Will always feel as if I missed out on something. Will always yearn for something I can’t have. Maybe that’s immature, but I don’t think so. It’s just life.

    Sounds to me as if you are sort of in the same situation, where the inevitability of life got in the way of having time with your friend. Don’t feel bad about the way you feel. Don’t try to “mature” too soon. Grief is important, too. It helps stretch us beyond what we can now accept.

    I hope you will forgive me for thinking aloud here.

  2. It’s interesting. Some of us learn to expect disappointment so everything good can be received as a joyous surprise, but that doesn’t make for happy fellowship. Perhaps we need to hold lightly to our dreams, but not so lightly they blow away without us… Like children in that moment when they learn how to hold onto a helium balloon.

  3. Ah, yes, those disappointments in life. Some are difficult to let go of, and I’m sorry for yours and wish you peace.

  4. Pat your comments are right on the money, and I agree with Sheila and Christine too. By the way, I still miss my friend. Still haven’t seen each other and may not for many more months, but I will still want to every week that passes by. I think the maturing is the learning to not let the things we cannot have get in the way of our “overall joy”. The time together will come…. in time and it will be even sweeter then. I appreciate your comments ladies more than you know. Have a blessed weekend!

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