Mother’s Day Commandment

Mother’s Day is coming up this weekend and all over our country, mothers are being celebrated. My mother gave me up when I was very small and then I had foster moms for several years. After that, I settled in with a full time mom until I grew up, married and became a mom, myself. Over the years, I’ve known lots of moms. Does that qualify me to write intelligently about them? I don’t know.

I think it’s fair to say, being a mother is a difficult task. Some of us do it well, some, not so well, but we never set out to be bad moms. We all try to do the best we can within the parameters of our circumstances. In other words, there’s no “owner’s manual.” I believe that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we have become. That holds truth for our kids, as well.

I was lucky. My first mom realized she was in over her head and she sought help. Even with that, she wasn’t able, for whatever reasons, to handle the job. She made the decision to give me the chance of a good life with another family. That couldn’t have been easy for her. I’ve tried for years to find her to tell her I don’t hold any animosity toward her for giving me up. Quite the opposite. I’m glad I had the chance for a better life and I salute her for her bravery.

My adopted mother had some hurdles to traverse since I had some emotional and physical issues to deal with, but patience, attentiveness and her version of love pulled us both through. Sure she made mistakes, as have I, but love was the basis for the effort to do a good job.

How do we know we’ve done a good job? Do we measure the level of success of our kids, their degree of happiness, whether or not we approve of the lives they have chosen? Again, I don’t know. We seem never to be sure. I do know most of us have said at some time or another, “I wish I had done so and so, or I wish I had said or not said so and so.”

Whatever the answer, I’ve created a mother’s commandment: “Thou shalt not SHOULD on thyself!” Relax and do the best you can…and have a Happy Mother’s Day!

Thoughts, anyone?


Filed under life, musings

18 responses to “Mother’s Day Commandment

  1. I was a new Mum and panicking when my Mum took me aside and said “Your not meant to be perfect. Just be good enough.” She was certainly “good enough” and more, and I’ve fallen back on that piece of advice many times.

    • Sheila, Just from what you said, I think your mom was terrific and I have a distinct impression you have followed in her footsteps. Happy Mother’s Day!

  2. I have two daughters who are perfect moms. I only hope that means I was a good dad??

  3. Suzanne Baginskie

    I’ve learned through the years that your children are only on loan to you from God. You love them and teach them right from wrong, but in the end the final choice is theirs alone and they have to face the any consequences for their good or bad decisions. Losing my Mom was the greatest loss in my life. I will always cherish her memory, especially each Mother’s Day.

  4. Your insight is right on. Mothering is different for lots of women and doing the best you can is all you can do. I am blessed with two wonderful children who are grown and one is a mother herself (doing a wonderful job of it too). They both call periodically just to say “I love you”. What more can one ask for. I surely made my fair share of parenting errors and have apologized to my children many times, but somehow we all survived.

    • What you wrote is very good. We all makes mistakes but that does not mean that we are failures and sometimes what we later think was a mistake turns out to be a good thing. I was blessed with only one child and I did the best I could under my circumstances to raise him the best I could. My son grew up to be a wonderful young man and a Christian. I have always been so very proud of him and he loved me very much. He made me see that by his actions and everytime I had a chance to see him or talk on the phone we never failed to say, “I love you” to each other. I would give my life to hear him say those words to me again but I know he is in a much better place with the Lord now.

    • What a blessed mom you are, Susan. To have your grown children call just to say they love you is really special. You’re right, what more could a mom ask for! Happy Mother’s Day!

  5. Linda Bennett

    When my only child, a dear daughter, became a teenager she would advise
    me of my mothering mistakes. I all ways responded that she was a wonderful daughter so I must be doing something right….and I did. She is a
    treasure and my best friend and every day she drops off her two beautiful sons for me to care for– so that is the best testimony for my abilities to be
    a good and effective mom. I get to help raise her greatest blessings.

  6. Yvonne Dorsey

    My mom was my best friend, my condfidant, the person I loved most in all the worlld, she let me be me, she was my strong shoulder, an inspiration. The best advice she ever gave me, was there is nothing you can’t do, with her everything was possible. I’m sure she had her doubts too, but she was my Super Hero. This is the first Mother’s Day without her. I miss talking to her, so let me say it here. Mom I Love you!

  7. Happy mothers day mum love Cait and clobby

  8. Thanks for sharing your story. And from things you’ve written, you sound like a wonderful mother!

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