Life’s Little Disappointments by Sherrie Hansen

I’ve sold a rash of books recently, to new and old acquaintances who are excited to meet a real, live author in person, and curious to know what prompted me – an otherwise ordinary person – to write a book.

“Are the books true?” I’m often asked. “Are they about you? Did you really…?”

My answer usually depends on whether or not my mother is around.

The truth (well, part of the truth) is that some of the things that happen in my books really have happened to me – in one form or another. Yes, Virginia, there really is an Anders. Although I have never met him in real life (and he is not from Denmark), our online friendship had a big impact on my life, and resulted in one of the main characters in my first book, Night and Day.

In Stormy Weather, there are several inciting incidents in the book that did really happened, not exactly as they occurred in the novel, but in such a way that the characters of Rachael, Mac and Luke were born. Luke is probably a combination of two or three different men I’ve known. And yes, I really am terrified of tornadoes. And I really do love rainbows.

In Water Lily, the main character, Michelle, struggles with issues of low self-esteem, something I’ve grappled with all of my life. And my ex-husband really is from St. Louis, and he really does have absolutely perfect, very white teeth.

The characters and plot of my new novel, Merry Go Round, due to be released on May 22, are distinctly different from and very far removed from my actual life experience. I’ve never had children. As fate would have it, I am married to a minister now, but I had not even met Mark when the book was written. Tracy and Clay, the main characters, are complete and total figments of my imagination.

But even in Merry Go Round, there is a snippet of something that really did happen to me, and that is that I once loved a man who turned out to be gay.

In my experience, life’s little disappointments often turn out to be the fodder for great and wonderful things… the kick in the pants that catapults you to a new level of maturity, the catalyst that spurs you to move onward and upward to a new personal best, the lost job that leads you to a new, twice-as-rewarding career, the heartbreak that leads you to discover the true love of your life…

There was also a boy, when I was about sixteen, that I knew well, and had a huge crush on. One day, he called my house, presumably to talk to me. Instead, he falteringly asked to speak to my younger sister, who he asked out on a date. They did not end up married. He did not turn out to be gay. Their first date was a trip to the county fair. Knowing my sister, they probably rode the Zipper instead of the merry-go-round. But a little disappointment (which at the time seemed great), made a big enough impact on me that almost forty years later, it became part of a story called Merry Go Round.

I see two of my nieces every Wednesday. They are six and nine. Sometimes, when they tell me what happened at school, as I listen and watch them fight and tease and live out the little dramas that make up their lives, I wonder which of these events they will remember when they are fifty-four, which of their little disappointments will one day weave themselves into the stories that make them who they are, or even change the course of their lives.


Filed under books, fiction, life, musings, Sherrie Hansen, writing

8 responses to “Life’s Little Disappointments by Sherrie Hansen

  1. Lovely, Thank you for sharing…

  2. Mark Decker

    Despite the disappointments, life does get better. Nice article, thanks.

  3. Lonnie Arnevik

    I think of how differently siblings can remember the past… some things I have vividly remembered for decades and my twin sister has forgotten all about it. Then she brings up something that was emotional for her and it was something that I had shrugged off. Then if I bring up the memory with an older sibling, they have a completely different memory connected to it, and sometimes their perspective is enlightening to me… like I have let the event/memory be too important because of the age that I was at the time. But still the memories are there. Some are hurtful, but there are also some that are wonderful and precious. I wish I could only hang on to all the happy ones and let everything else go. But all those things I lived through are why I am the person that I am today. We all have frustrating things that we don’t like about ourselves, but I am also glad that I am the caring person that I am. I am what I am… imperfect in so many ways but I am so capable of loving, (Thank-you God) so that is something really good.

    • Sherrie Hansen

      You said, “But all those things I lived through are why I am the person that I am today. ” I love this statement. It is so true. The times you have spent in the rock-tumbler made you the bright, shiny, gem of a woman you are today.

      • Lonnie Arnevik

        Thanks Sherrie!
        I like that analogy! Love you!
        I have a feeling some of the experiences and people you have met along life’s road have made you into the unusually thoughtful and sensitive person that you are… and somehow you find the time to let that flow out in your writing too! Isn’t it interesting that creativity is the bonus gift that we both got… you with writing and me with drawing?

      • Sherrie Hansen

        Thank you, Lonnie. You’re exactly right.

  4. christinehusom

    A touching post, Sherrie. The disappointments, hurts, joys, ups, and downs, of life do give us a lot of experiences to draw on for our stories. I’ve used the emotions I’ve felt in real life when writing a fictional incident. It helps me convey what my characters are going through. In one of my manuscripts (a mainsteam novel, not my mystery thrillers), my main character is upset she is pregnant, but when she loses the baby, goes through a grief much like I did when I lost a baby I very much wanted.

    • Sherrie Hansen

      Thanks for sharing Chris. I find it very theraputic to write about incidents that I’ve had some personal experience with.

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