Take a Bite Outta Crime – part 10

Despite their circumstances, Kirk and Drea are trying to find some semblance of normalcy. It isn’t easy considering they found a dead body in the cooler, have been robbed and terrorized. Their business has been vandalized, so they can’t go to work. They decide to sleep the day away.

Kirk made a grand gesture. “Your bath awaits, my lady.” Kissing her hands, he led her to the bathroom.

“Well, it isn’t a castle in Marseilles, nor yet a Roman bath, but it will have to suffice.”

“Humble caterers can’t afford the best suite, my love. Were I not of humble origins, I would treat you like the queen you are.”

Giggling, Drea strutted past him, dragging her finger along his jaw. “Of course you would, peasant. Draw my bath, churl.” She put on a haughty, imperious accent.

“Aye, my lady,” he replied in a rasping, coarse accent. He bowed, groveling, as he scurried to the bathtub.

“Then you can join me,” she said with a smirk.

“Oh, aye, my lady!” He responded happily in the same voice. “Anything my lady wishes!”
* * *
They were woken at dusk by tapping on the door. Kirk grabbed his underwear and a bathrobe. Drea pulled the blankets up around her chin as she waited for him to check the peephole.

“It’s Margo.” He opened the door.

“Oh, what a day! I’ll smell like fish the rest of my life!” She swished in, her long coat a swirl of white around her. Kirk couldn’t help thinking she looked like she was covered in whipped cream. The coat patterned after an old fashioned duster, her turtle neck and leather pants also the starkest white.

“Nonsense. It washes out,” Kirk said, closing the door behind her.

“Did they police find anything?”

“No, but that irritating reporter from Channel 9 is sniffing around. I hope she gets a nostril full of fish guts.”

“Which one? They’re all annoying,” Drea laughed from the bed.

“That Shelly person with the fake tits and the big hair.”

Drea sniffed derisively. She and Margo were far better built than the artificial reporter – all of their curves real. Kirk excused himself to dress in the bathroom. Drea, who had known Margo for years, wasn’t the least bit modest dressing in front of her friend.

“Having a good nap?” Margo flopped on the bed.

“You might say that,” Drea replied with a knowing smile.

“Bother sleep,” Kirk came out of the bathroom with his jeans and no shirt. “It’s highly overrated.”

“Some would say the same thing about your food.” Margo blew him a saucy kiss.

“Don’t start,” he pointed at her angrily.

“The paramedic told him it was ‘only food’,” Drea told her in a stage whisper.

“I’ll remember that remark,” Kirk growled, his eyes flashing dangerously. “If they still allowed it, I’d nail his skin to a wall.”

“Darling, that’s a tad harsh. He’s just a boy.”

“Good for discipline. Teach the masses the truth, that’s what I say.”

“And that’s a good way to work your way into the hearts of the people,” Margo said in a matter-of-fact tone. “Rates highly with the public when you chastise them.”

“Shut up,” Kirk said, digging around for a t-shirt in the plastic shopping bag.

He pulled out a brown shirt that said, “Did you eat and extra bowl of stupid today?”, pulling it on without looking carefully at it. He groaned when he saw himself in the mirror.

“Did you have to?” He asked Drea.

“They didn’t have much selection your size. Would you have preferred the ones with scythe wielding skeletons?”

“Not a lot.”

“Well, then….”

“I feel the need for an upgrade,” he said. “But I suppose that has to wait until tomorrow.”

“You could go now. Keep in mind that the law doesn’t like folks who break and enter,” Margo said. “Before I forget, I brought the medicine and the lotion.” She emptied her pockets, tossing the items on the bed. “Didn’t we talk about this? Keeping it on you?”

“I have my lotion,” Drea said. “It was Kirk who didn’t.”

“I was hardly expecting to be robbed,” he said in his defense. “I keep some at work and in the car.”

“And you should have some in your pocket.”

“Your concern is noted, Margo. Enough lectures. Want to join us for dinner?”

“I’m expected at home. Tommy is cooking.” She raised an eyebrow at the mention of the prep chef’s name. “Thanks so much for hiring him, Kirk. Tasty!” She licked her lips lavishly, slurping.

“Don’t want to know,” Kirk replied, putting his fingers in his ears.

“He’s a spicy, sweet, tasty treat,” she concluded loudly. “Drea does, though. Don’t you?” She raised an eyebrow, nodding.

“Not especially. I’m just glad you’re happy. You deserve it.”

“At least one of you is happy for me,” she said with a fake pout.

“I’m happy, I just don’t want to hear about how you’re getting along,” Kirk said with a shudder. “You have a nasty habit of consuming your men, Margo. And I happen to like Tommy. He’s a good kid and an excellent chef. I don’t want you corrupting him once I have him trained the way I want him.”

“On that note, I’ll be going,” Margo told Drea. “See you in the morning”

“Probably. Provided nothing else is stolen, vandalized or broken into, we’ll be there.”

“Shall I come by for you?”

“Sure. I’ll rent a car later in the day,” Kirk said. “But I can’t deal with that when I first get up.”

“Alrighty then!” Margo got up, flouncing toward the door. “See you in the A.M.!” Blowing kisses, she left.

1 Comment

Filed under writing

One response to “Take a Bite Outta Crime – part 10

  1. christinehusom

    Keep them coming 🙂

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